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Sometimes, the writing life is overwhelming.
The writing, editing, marketing, on top of working all day and doing the day-to-day activities that must be done. So why would anyone in their right mind do it when they are barely getting noticed?
Because you love it. Because you have a story that has to be written, characters that wake you up in the middle of the night because they want to talk about their story or scenes going over and over in your head that you can’t ignore. If you don’t write it down, you’ll either forget it (a travesty) or the characters will keep bothering you.
Ah, a writer’s life is not all bon-bons and chardonnay. You’re judged, sometimes harshly. You work hard and intently, and you rarely make time to veg out on the couch and relax with the current hit show of the season. (Okay, I will occasionally for a good movie or for Dexter).
A lot of people in the everyday life, especially non-readers, don’t understand writers. They especially don’t understand romance writers. What makes us so different? Nothing, really. We just like to write about characters falling in love and the whole process of relationship-building.
I’m a pretty private person, so blogging has always been somewhat difficult for me. Writing, as much as I love it, has always been difficult for me to share. So difficult, in fact, that my first two books were written under a pen name. After a couple of years, the rights were reverted back to me, but they aren’t forever gone. I hope to one day republish them. They were a huge learning experience. I hid those books and the fact that I’m a writer from important people for so long and went through many, many emotions during those years. I stopped writing for a while and stopped pursuing publication but somewhere along the way, I found myself and realized this is me. I am a writer. It is in my heart and isn’t going to go away. I could tell you of all the experiences I’ve had that has led me back to this path and the reasons I felt I couldn’t be true to myself, but that isn’t necessary. I know it is meant to be, and I knew I couldn’t hide under a pen name any longer or I would make the same mistakes again. I would never truly be me and something would always stop me from succeeding.
I’m comfortable with myself and my writing now, and I know I can’t stop. I’m sorry I wasted a lot of years, but I believe things happen for a reason and maybe it just wasn’t time for me. Doesn’t mean I don’t still have a hard time talking about myself when people ask, but then I’ve always been a better listener than I am a talker.
I’m afraid many people never “step out” to live their dream in fear of failure or fear of change or fear of so many other things that might or might not happen (hey even Steven King doubted himself!) To walk along the path you are supposed to be walking on is a tremendous experience. I encourage everyone to follow their heart’s true passion, because I believe that is our purpose in life. It’s also important to find support, and be supportive of others and their dreams!
You will encounter obscure trails, forks in the road, and high and low routes. But if you’re on the right path, your heart is going to know it, even if nobody else does.
I know I am where I’m supposed to be now.