I didn’t post about writing this week. I didn’t write much of anything this week, although my editing mode is kicked into high gear. With everything going on in the world, I don’t have the energy to say what’s on my mind and don’t feel anything I say or write is appropriate.
I’m saddened by what’s going on throughout the world, and no words can speak the right words. As Thanksgiving draws closer, I find it important to speak what we are thankful for.
Along with this past week’s tragedy, my aunt/great aunt/grandmother’s sister died last night after a long bout with cancer. I’m thankful for the time spent with her. She was such a beautiful woman, inside and out, and a woman I admired greatly. We had some really great times together. She’d been married to the same man for many, many years. I don’t really know, I just know it was as long as I can remember, and I feel very sad for him to have lost the love of his life.
I know many people are suffering from the loss of this special woman.
And yet, no matter how sad it is for everyone to be left behind, I know she was living the life she wanted to live. There are undoubtedly things she still wanted to do, things she will miss out on, but she went after her life full force while she still had the chance. And, no matter how hard that is sometimes, it’s the best thing we can do for ourselves. The more I do it, the happier I am.
Despite the loss of my aunt and the tragedy this world has faced, I continue to have problems in my family. Sometimes, there are things you can never turn away from. No matter how much forgiveness and acceptance you offer, some things will never be the same. Words spoken, words unspoken, and the fact many can never understand the other’s point of view, and most will never even try. The titter of people’s gossip growing into a raucous exaggeration that ends up hurting relationships. I feel that rut very deep in my life right now.
Things will get better, and sometimes you have to turn your back on relationships that are toxic, no matter how much it hurts.
Toxic relationships aren’t always about how someone has affected you in a negative way. Sometimes it’s the way people are when they are together. Sometimes it’s the opinions they feel they have to express, when it’s best they swallow their words. Sometimes it’s the fact they only see inward instead of looking in the mirror, or instead of looking out into how others might be affected by the words or situations you think is only hurting you.
No matter what happens, it’s important to remember love. No one is promised tomorrow, we all know this. The tragedy and ongoing threats of our world a perfect reminder. Sometimes speaking forgiveness isn’t enough, and sometimes those who won’t practice humility will never know what they’re missing.
So this Thanksgiving, I’m thankful for the experiences I have, good and bad that have made me who I am today. I am thankful for the relationships I’ve had, past and present, and those I’ll never have again. I wouldn’t be who I am today without them.
What are you thankful for?