by Angela Smith | Mar 8, 2020 | Introspective
My garden did okay last year. Just okay. We didn’t get a lot of good, soaking spring rains that a garden loves and it got way too hot too fast. My soaker hose couldn’t keep up. But in the spring before it got too hot, my basil and dill flourished.
I love dill. I have a great hummus recipe and it’s fantastic. I also love dill on top of salads or added to homemade ranch.
I also love mint. If you’ve read Burn on the Western Slope about Reagan’s love for mint, that was a character trait based on me and my love for this luscious herb.
But I missed my opportunity to cut and freeze it or dehydrate my dill for later use, because it dried too quickly. It also dried so fast I wasn’t able to harvest it for seeds. And I admit I’m still a newbie when it comes to harvesting my own seeds.
I saw the signs that it was about to go to see, but I ignored it, figuring I had a few more days. I’ll get to it on the weekend when I’ve got more time.
That missed opportunity had me thinking about other missed opportunities in my life, and believe me I’ve had plenty. I wonder if we ever get those opportunities again. Part of me thinks no, although we might get similar ones. Maybe we’ll growing and learning and changing and those opportunities will be even better.
Or maybe not.
More dill can be planted. More seed can be sewn, and more garden can flourish this year. If I plant one, that is. This year’s dill will likely be just as good as last year’s. But that is no reason to wait on pursuing your dreams.
I’ve always wanted to write romance fiction, but I’ve always wanted to help inspire others to find their calling. I often wondered how I could do both. How in the world could I find time? How could I separate the two when I could barely keep up with one?
Then I asked myself, why separate them? Why not use my blog to help inspire others to reach for their dreams? Sometimes that might mean reaching for the moon and falling flat on out backs. Sometimes it might hurt, a lot. And likely we will cry at the pain (even if you’re like me and don’t cry often). But if we can’t dream, what’s the point, right?
Every day offers a new opportunity!
And speaking of missed opportunities, please SUBSCRIBE TO MY NEWSLETTER to read Burn on the Western Slope for free and read an announcement about some things I have coming up in the future! You can be part of this dream that I am slowly but surely building!
Thank you, and until next time!
XOXO
by Angela Smith | Apr 8, 2019 | Introspective
As writer’s, we’re lucky. If we’re not productive, we can blame it on ‘writer’s block,’ an ailment that doesn’t seem to exist for other professions. For instance, shoe salesmen do not get ‘shoe salesmen block.’ -Neil Gaiman
I’ve been writing again. Slowly but surely. Something completely different than my usual.
Sometimes changing our perspective, changing our goals and even changing the type of things we write (or paint, draw, sing) can help us push past that block of resistance.
Maybe Neil Gaiman doesn’t believe in writer’s block, but I absolutely do. I believe it’s our own resistance that blocks us. Sometimes when I’m in the middle of a story, I get blocked if I’m not following the story’s path. But lately I’ve been blocked because I got a little burned out and needed a break.
Burn out is absolutely real, and for me comes in the form of writer’s block. I’ve experienced burn out more than once and haven’t experienced it for the last time.
I work in an emotionally draining job. As an officer manager for a prosecutor’s office who sees some of the worst of the worst types of cases, my brain is on overload most days, every day during the work week. That while trying to enjoy my own life doing the things I love can get emotionally taxing.
There are days I don’t feel I get away from my job. I wake up on Sunday wondering where the weekend went and then remember it isn’t Monday yet. I dream about my job at least once a week, but usually more than I would admit. I often joke with my husband that I can’t get away from my job because I dream about it when I’m not there.
Sometimes, my burn out is quick and I overcome it after a day of rest and relaxation. Other times, it can last for days or even weeks. Or, I hate to say, months.
Burn out is different than just being tired and needing a break. A nice vacation can fix that, but it might not be able to fix burn out.
The first time I experienced burn out, it wasn’t well known or talked about. The internet was different, barely in existence, and there wasn’t a lot of information about it. I lost interest in the things that used to interest me, and I didn’t know what was wrong. I feel like I was in a rut, a large black hole, and it felt like something dark and heavy was on my shoulders.
Burn out is different than depression but can sometimes feel a lot like it and can even make you depressed. So how do we overcome burn out?
It’s easy to do an online search now on burnout and get instant results on what to do about it, but it isn’t always that easy, is it? Yesterday, I had plans to work on some creative goals, but couldn’t muster the energy to do so. Then I thought if I colored, that might get my mind into creative mode without having to think. I couldn’t muster the energy to do that either. I love to read but sometimes when I’m in that mode, I can’t even handle words!
So what do I do when I’m facing the worst of all burnouts?
Sit in silence. Take a bath. A shower. Get away from the noise, unless it’s noise of nature (birds chirping or frogs croaking is the best!)
Take a walk. Even a short walk down to the mailbox.
Go outside. Even if you just sit under a shade tree, a porch, or a rock. Soak up that Vitamin D! There’s nothing better than sunshine when you’re feeling burned out.
Stop overthinking. I’m no doctor, but in my experience overthinking and worrying can lead to burn out. Sometimes the best way to stop overthinking is to get a pen and paper and write down whatever is in your mind. I can’t always do that when I’m burned out, but even doing a mind map or brainstorm can help ease the thoughts in your mind leading to burnout.
Have a good cry. I don’t cry much, and sometimes when I really want to I just can’t. But there are times when having a good cry washes away all the humdrum feelings of burnout.
Do something different. Get away from your reality and do something completely different than normal. I’ve heard people say take a different route to work, but that doesn’t always work well. Still, getting out of town and doing something different can work wonders on your burnout!
There are a lot of other ways to overcome burnout, and an online search will point you there, especially burn out from work. But I’m not here to talk about work burnout (which I experience all the time) but burnout from your creativity, your life and just everything. Nipping it in the bud before it gets you down is important, and thankfully I’ve learned to do that since I experience it often. I know when it’s time to take a break, and if that means not writing for a day or two or working on my creative projects, so be it.
How do you best handle burnout?
Thanks for joining. Bye for now!
by Angela Smith | Apr 1, 2019 | Introspective
Last week I posted about giving up on your dreams. This week, I wanted to talk some about fear and resistance.
Because fear and resistance can seem like standing in the middle of a black hole with nothing but the universe staring back at you.
If your dream points you toward the image of where you want to be when you’re 80 (thank you, Lara Casey, to pointing me to this), but you aren’t making progressive steps forward, why not?
Fear? Resistance? I’ve lived with those both myself. Sometimes enough to believe I really didn’t want that dream in the first place.
Oh man, battling fear and resistance is the worse. Steven Pressfield talked about it in his novel, WAR OF ART and blogs about it now.
How many people have actually given up because of this?
From my experience, I know the resistance one can face when it comes to their creativity and sharing their creativity with others. Some people really do just get lucky, in my opinion, but some people are just really good at it. And times have changed so much. Some people embrace social media, some people not so much.
I’m one of those not so much people. Live video? Forget it!
Don’t give me wrong. I love a lot of aspects of social media. I learn so many things and I have always loved learning what makes others tick. Social media is a great way to meet new people. But when you’re a creative and you don’t feel like you have anything important to say but your current work-in-progress, it can get hard. Or when you don’t have time every single day.
But see, this is fear speaking. And I’ve battled fear my whole life. But more than fear, I’ve battled resistance, and I’m still not certain why. Fear of the blank page. Fear of having nothing to say. Fear of not being good enough? Who knows. I could go on and on.
Marianne Williamson says it best:
Our Deepest Fear
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness
That most frightens us.
We ask ourselves
Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small
Does not serve the world.
There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking
So that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine,
As children do.
We were born to make manifest
The glory of God that is within us.
It’s not just in some of us;
It’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we’re liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.
I’m a big fan of Ruth Soukup and her DoItScared brand. I took her test and it rated my biggest fear based on PESSIMISM. What? No way! I am not a pessimist at all. I’ve always been a believer of dreams and try to inspire others. And yet as I read, I noticed some tendencies that have really been hurting me lately. Her pessimist fear assessment says I’m afraid of adversity. I see hardships as a stopping stone, not a stepping stone, as if this hardship is there to stop me from going further. I haven’t always been that way but I see that in me now. And I can see it’s because I’ve battled a lot of disappointment in my life so now I struggle to see hopeful possibilities. “It probably won’t work out for me” isn’t something I’m proud to admit I tell myself even when I’m affirming positive qualities.
Wow, so I guess I am a pessimist after all here lately! Why bother writing this story, it isn’t going to sell. Why bother publishing this, marketing that. Goodness what a negative state I’ve been in without even realizing it. No wonder I’m against a block of resistance!
For me, I believe it’s a season I’m going through. My natural state isn’t pessimism, never has been, so I will push past it. What about you? What fear holds you back?
by Angela Smith | Mar 25, 2019 | Introspective
Er, I Mean, How to Reevaluate What You Truly Want out of Life
I have a confession to make. I haven’t been living my dream. I haven’t been selling thousands of copies of my books each week and driving a bright red Ferrari when I have no choice but to go to the grocery store for food.
Okay, the last part wasn’t part of my dream life, although never having to go to the store would be nice. In my dreams, someone would be going to the store for me.
But I digress.
I’ve been knee-deep in edits. Two of them. One is a Christmas story, which is a nice break from the romantic suspense I just received back from my editor.
A perfect time to vacuum the house. And clean all the dishes. Then go through all your cabinets, yet again, because they might need re-organized for the third time this year. And March isn’t even over.
Another digression. But absolutely true when it comes to writers and the ways they procrastinate.
My romantic suspense has kicked my butt. Wrung out many emotions in me and required a lot of work to get it to where I need it could be, had the potential to be. I’m not a fast writer. I blame it on having a full time emotionally jarring job, but plenty of other writers have hard jobs so I’m not alone. I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m just slower than some when it comes to my writing.
And while I’ve been editing these two novels, I’ve also been reevaluating my life and what I really want out of it. I’m pretty happy, save for the fact I am not a bestselling author. I’m an author, and I have published many books and I have many more in my head, but lately that hasn’t been good enough for me.
One morning, I woke up and realized I am being way too hard on myself. I’m putting way too much focus on my dream of writing and not near enough on the process and how far I’ve come.
I wondered what it would be like if I gave up writing. I haven’t had time to do other things I’d love to do, like sew, paint, restore an old hutch my husband bought. Repaint my office and finish a few remodeling projects. Seriously, I could go on, but when you work a full-time job and you write on the side with other responsibilities, those projects take a back burner.
And during this time, I’ve been reevaluating my life, I’ve come across a lot of posts about failure. The majority of the advice being DON’T GIVE UP.
Don’t give up on your dream.
As if giving up constitutes failure.
Failure is in the eye of the beholder. I’ve learned through my experiences that, even though things don’t always turn out as I had hoped, I have definitely not failed. If I stopped writing today, I have not failed.
Every step we make is an experience worth celebrating. Even if we do give up on one dream to try something else. Even if we take a break that lasts years.
I believe that if you have a dream, you should go for it. It’s an awesome feeling! But if you decide it isn’t what you really want, or you decide you’ve given it enough of your time and it’s time to give up or take a break, you aren’t failing.
During my off-times with these edits, when my work has been with my editors and I had nothing to do on those stories but to write a new one, I decided to take a break. Most writers say work on another story while you’re waiting.
I decided that’s the last thing I needed to do, and this is after I actually tried it and almost went into shock. That’s when I realized I needed a break. My current works-in-progress will still be published. And I’ll write again soon. But for now, I’m thinking of all the other things I’ve always wanted to try and put off doing.
That is how you give up on your dream. Reevaluate your life and your goals and figure out where you want to be in 5, 10, or 20 years or when you are 80. Where do you want to be when you are 80? If your dream isn’t moving you toward that goal, then it’s time to reevaluate.
If your dream points you toward that image but you aren’t making progressive steps forward, why not? Fear? Resistance? I’ve lived with those both myself. Sometimes enough to believe I really didn’t want that in the first place. Oh, the things we tell ourselves.
Next week, I plan to post more on fear and resistance. Thanks for stopping by!
by Angela Smith | Dec 30, 2018 | Introspective
Happy New Year!
I know it’s been awhile since I’ve blogged, and I can’t say I’m adding a blogging schedule to my goal list yet. Eventually I hope so, but right now I’m focusing on getting 2 stories edited and with the rush of life, I’m having a hard time adding anything else at the moment. Shoulda, woulda, coulda.
However, I did want to take a few moments to talk about goal setting. It’s a huge topic this time of year. And something I usually try to do throughout the year. I’m pretty ambitious and enjoy setting goals, but this 2019 goal setting has been very difficult for me. I don’t even know why, although some of it might be because I’ve been focused so much on writing that I feel like I’ve lost a lot of my other creative endeavors I used to enjoy. Thinking on that has really forced me to re-evaluate writing goals when so many other things get pushed to the back burner.
I also blame it on Lara Casey’s Power Sheets. It’s my first time to ever use them, and it was worth every investment. As far as goal setting, she’s the one to read (as this post isn’t about how to set goals, but she has a lot of great posts for that.) It makes me think on what’s important, and what’s not so important, and has really drawn some things out of me.
That being said, once my 2 stories are finished with editing, I might take a break from writing to pursue other goals. All the guilt that writers feel about “must write every day” and “don’t break the chain” can really screw up a writer’s mindset. “Don’t give up” blah blah blah. I don’t look at it as giving up, but I do look at taking a break as nourishing myself. Instead of feeling guilty for not writing, or not doing this or that, I am going to nourish my creativity without worrying about getting noticed or marketing or writing something new. Because, as Lara Casey says, little by little it all adds up. So I am taking it little by little!
Another guilt authors face is how we should be writing and publishing x many stories x many months or you won’t ever get noticed. (Seriously, this is a real thing and a real fear.) For some, I’m sure that works great, but it doesn’t for me.
Burn out is real, and can happen with anything. And it’s time I take a break. I have to focus on the stories I do have, the edits I am doing, to make them the best they are before I even think about writing something new. So that’s my plan, even if it takes awhile. And even if I don’t publish as often as others say I should.
Do you have any goals for 2019? I’d love to hear your thoughts!
by Angela Smith | Aug 3, 2018 | Introspective
What exactly is romantic suspense?
I recently had a reader tell me that I would be better suited to contemporary romance than romantic suspense, as she didn’t think my romantic suspense was dark and gritty enough. I admit that I have had a few self-discovery issues with myself and on what genre to call my books when I first embarked on my writing journey. I’ve been off and on what to label my writing for many years.
You see, I love romantic suspense, and I grew up reading the genre and the many aspects of the genre. Many of it is dark and gritty, but it doesn’t have to be to be called romantic suspense. Romantic suspense can be thriller based or a lighter type of suspense, but danger at some level is usually involved.
So I’ve decided to keep calling my stories romantic suspense. I try to write a 50/50 spectrum and my stories are always focused on the hero and heroine falling in love. There’s always a danger element, but I sprinkle a lot of relationship building into the story. Maybe too much for some people, but it is romance after all!
So why shouldn’t I call myself romantic suspense? There are so many genres and sub-genres and different types and elements nowadays, but contemporary usually has no type of suspense, or death, or someone being kidnapped or scared for their life. I will not write cardboard romances where such and such better happen on such and such page. I write organically, intrinsically, and some of my stories are more suspenseful than others, but there is always a level of danger there. Maybe not as much as someone hopes, or maybe more. I did love listening to what this reader had to say and learning and helping to grow in her comments. But reading is very subjective, and I personally prefer my romantic suspense without all the blood and guts. Sometimes it’s more action/adventure or solving some type of crime or mystery. Final Mend is about a child kidnapping and trying to find this child and being concerned for their life in the process. And yes, someone does die. Dark Ride is about a heroine witnesses a crime and then going on the run with the hero in order to survive.
I’ve been a romantic suspense fan my entire life but recently decided to do a bit more digging on the sub-genre. After all, things do change. Here are some of the best articles I found on the subject:
https://www.autocrit.com/editing/library/unraveling-the-complexities-of-romantic-suspense/
And this article, which was amazing and pretty much defined exactly how I feel about the situation:
https://tracycooperposey.com/what-is-romantic-suspense-part-ii/
So there you have it. I am still calling my genre romantic suspense!
Any thoughts on this subject? I’d love to hear them!
