I recently had a conversation with a friend who said she hadn’t wanted to get her hopes up about a certain something, and it really made me think.
I haven’t wanted to get my hopes up in a long time. Disappointment is such a…disappointment.
But seriously, when I saw my friend so very excited, more excited than I’d seen her in a long time, and that excitement spread to me and everyone around her, it struck me that getting your hopes up isn’t all bad. It’s actually a very nice feeling. Sure, the disappointment isn’t great, but the feeling of complete joy and being hopeful is a good feeling while it lasts. And we should relish our feelings, shouldn’t we? Because they never truly last long. We are so used to turning off grief, or fear, or anger, or whatever it is instead of actually feeling, that we become somewhat robotic.
I told her: “getting your hopes up is a good feeling so don’t stop doing that!” Then I realized I need to practice what I preach.
So my mission is to not be afraid of getting my hopes up in case I experience utter disappointment. It happens in writing all the time, and I learned to stop being hopeful (when receiving a request for a full manuscript, etc.) But that’s sad, too. Not feeling hopeful when you click “submit” or “send” on your manuscript because you’re afraid of rejection is really just a minor comparison, but it is sad that I’ve allowed myself to be that way. Maybe next time I should jump up and shout and smile because yay, I just submitted my manuscript!
Emotions are such a huge deal when writing characters, but it’s also one of the hardest. Especially when I’m not in sync with my own or I’m trying to stifle them. I do love to gauge others’ emotions (real people are such a great learning tool!).
Many of us are great at feeling and shouting out to the world how they feel, but I’m not one of those people. What about you?
What do you think?
This stock photo from Jasmine Star says it all. Find out more about her at www.jasminestar.com