My husband and I speak candidly with each other. But is that the case in all relationships?
My husband has seen the very best part of me, and the very worst. He also loves me just as much as he did, and more than he did, when he said I do. I’m not saying this because I am foolishly in love and think the best of my husband all the while I have blinders on to the real person he is. I know the real person my husband is, and that makes me happy. I’m saying it because I’ve seen him at his worst, too, and I think he’d tell you the same.
After almost twenty years of marriage, we have grown a lot in our profession, our love, our maturity, and so much more. We’ve also discovered that communication is the key. We talk about everything. He now knows, after some learning experiences, not to bring a snake home and expect me to accept it as a pet. And I know that if I keep bugging him to take out the trash, it’ll pile up a bit more than I like. I also know that he will take out the trash without me having to tell him. After all, who likes to be told what to do?
One of the downfalls of speaking so candidly with my husband is that I tend to speak candidly with everyone I feel comfortable with. Want to know whether I am comfortable with (and whether I like) you? Well, that’s how to know.
I’m blessed to have a man who cares enough to pay attention and listen to my needs when I do speak them, but he also expects that I’ll respond to his, as well. Why does he expect this? Because I’ve shown him, and continue to show him, and we both respect each other and each other’s beliefs. My husband and I don’t agree on some of the most important beliefs known to man (religion, for one) but we respect each other, and that makes it fine.
A lot of people believe that if you don’t share the same religion, your relationship doesn’t have a chance. I wholeheartedly disagree. If you don’t respect each other’s beliefs and opinions, that’s when your relationship doesn’t have a chance. Neither one of us tries to change the other’s mind, but we do like to debate our points.
I believe communication is the key to making every relationship work. I’ve also seen in my profession that it rarely happens, and isn’t always accepted. Sometimes when you try to communicate with someone, they blow it out of the water. And sometimes, you have to be the mature one and know when to back down, as long as you aren’t always the one backing down. I’ve known people who won’t broach a subject at any cost. Or they wait until things build until they broach the subject. Usually when things build is the worst time to broach a subject.
Communication isn’t all about being the one to talk. It also means knowing how to listen. So many books and subjects are written on being a good listener. The best listener, in my opinion, is one who isn’t thinking about what they’re going to say as soon as you stop talking.
So what can you do today to be a better communicator?