It’s time for the annual RWA conference, which has changed many people’s lives, positively and negatively. Here I would like to offer tips to first-timers and long-timers alike to make this the most successful conference ever!

For the First-Timers:

The conference can be intimidating. Who am I kidding? It is intimidating. No matter how well prepped you feel you are, once you get there you probably won’t feel near as prepped and will want to run screaming and hiding in your room. That’s okay. If you are introverted, you should definitely take time for yourself. Even if you aren’t an introvert, you should take time for yourself.

So the first tip?

Take time for yourself.
Not just in the morning or evening. Sometimes during the day, when there’s a workshop you really want to attend but you can’t possibly, you just have to take a break. I made the mistake of trying to cram in all the workshops and then not getting near as much out of it as I could have, then I got way too tired and wanted to run home as fast as I could. Luckily I got some rest and reenergized myself.

Don’t keep your head down.
This is not the time to keep your head down. Make eye contact and smile. Be approachable, and approach others. If you are introverted and have to give yourself a pep talk, by all means do so.

Avoid sensory overload.
Beginners are told not to sleep in, don’t sight-see, and take every workshop you can. I disagree. There is such a thing as sensory overload, at least for me, where all that information turns into negative information. Audio recordings are a good investment for those times you must take a break. True, the actual experience can be better, but not always when you are already on sensory overload. Also, we are writers. Sight-seeing is the best possible thing we can do for our creativity, not sitting in a workshop. Personally, I think audio should be a gift to all RWA attendees.

Volunteer.
The second conference I attended, I volunteered, and it was the best experience of my life even if I had no idea what I was doing. I was afraid and almost talked myself out of skipping out on it, but a sense of self-perseveration guided me to finish what I had promised. I made a contact with a special friend and we still remain in contact.

We aren’t all the same, but that doesn’t matter.
Another piece of advice given to first-timers is that we are all the same. If we were all the same, well then none of this would matter, now would it? Take those experiences you gain from others to help strengthen yourself. Be a good listener, and a good learner, but remember to sift through the advice you are given. Not all of it is good, but some of it can be life-changing.

Don’t be afraid to ask.
I met a lot of fabulous people, some who might not ever remember me but authors who I hold a small crush for. Authors like Nora Roberts, Erica Spindler, Karen Rose, and Eloisa James. They changed my life without even knowing, and it’s not because I’m a crazy stalker fan girl. It’s because I was not afraid to approach them and ask for a picture. Eloisa James even said it’s the 21st century, you should never be afraid of asking for a picture!

Don’t miss out on opportunities.
I lost a lot of opportunities because I didn’t follow through, didn’t want to interrupt, or didn’t know how to forward the conversation. I also lost out a lot because I was too tired, or because someone might have offered a compliment (I love your shirt!) and I only said thank you without creating more conversation because they were involved in a group of people I didn’t want to interrupt. Well, if they said something to me, then I wasn’t interrupting them. Lots of other missed opportunities that I won’t bother mentioning but just remember not to miss out on your opportunities. No matter how intimidated or tired you might feel, remember why you are there, and make the most of it. Hiding in your hotel will not make the most of it, but don’t forget to rest.

Don’t overschedule yourself.
You don’t have to go to every workshop. Buy the recording or talk to someone who went to the workshop you wanted. Don’t be afraid to leave if a workshop isn’t giving you what you want. Also, remember that pitching can offer you opportunities to meet others, just don’t bother someone who is deep in their thoughts while getting ready to pitch. Remember to always offer encouragement.

Remember this conference won’t make or break you.
You no longer need an agent or editor to survive. There are a lot of freelance editors you can use to grow your career. If you get bad feedback from an agent or editor, remember they are just people, too. Maybe they’re having a bad day or maybe they just aren’t worth your time. Use constructive feedback to grow, but learn to toss negative or hurtful feedback. If that means you have to run and hide for a while, so be it, but keep your head up and don’t let it affect you for long!

Don’t let a negative experience talk you out of moving forward.
Okay, so I have a confession to make. When I went to D.C. in 2009, I was so excited and energized to go to my first RWA conference, something I had been dreaming of since forever! When I came away from that conference, I felt like a loser for not feeling near as energized and motivated as people convinced me I should be. Once I got home, I remembered some positive experiences, but I didn’t write or publish again for almost five years! I’m not blaming it on the conference, but I do feel like it greatly benefited the reasons I almost threw up my hands.

And for that reason, I am offering a few tips for long-timers.

For the Long-Timers:

Remember the first-timers.
First timers are told to network, speak up, learn and grow, blah blah blah. They’ll often go to bars, sit by themselves, order take-out for their room and run and hide, feeling like an outcast. It can feel like a high school full of cliques. The long-timers forget that a newbie might not want to approach a group of people because they don’t want to be rude and interrupt, or they don’t want to approach one person who has their head down in their phone or in a notebook or in the pages of a book. You might have your group you feel comfortable with, but remember we are all creative people, and sometimes going outside your clique, your comfort zone, could change your life. You never know what kind of newbie you might meet.

Remember the first-timers’ discomfort.
If a newbie doesn’t offer engaging conversation or respond the way you would like, maybe their mind is reeling with everything they’ve learned and everything going on. Maybe they are on sensory overload. Don’t take it personally or consider them a lost a cause. Continue to engage and offer inspiration, or recognize that they are too tired and it’s time for them to leave. Exchange contact information, and contact them!

We probably do want to talk to you.
If we have our head down and look engaged, we probably do want to talk to you. We are all here for the experience, and that experience is found in networking with others. Remember, a newbie feels much more intimidated than someone who has gone through this every year. You can be a good motivation.

Offer positive feedback.
Always be welcoming and encouraging. We aren’t in high school anymore.

Approach, and be approachable.
At RWA Nationals, there are a lot of private meetings going on in public locations. Newbies generally don’t feel comfortable approaching people who are engaged. If you have a meeting and are really talking to someone, then continue on. If you see someone alone, even if they are involved with their phone or with their head down, introduce yourself. But no matter how involved you are in anything, be approachable. You never know when the next experience—even one with a newbie—will change your life. We are writers, after all. Our experiences matter.

This is not a sales pitch.
We aren’t here to sell ourselves. We are here to network. If you find yourself only talking about yourself, maybe it’s time to step back and reevaluate the conversation. A lot of people talk about themselves because they are afraid of silence, but enjoy the momentary silence. Chances are, it won’t last long.

Does it really matter how we are enjoying our conference?
If you really wanted my opinion and I was honest about it, I’d tell you something different each time you asked, depending on how I’m feeling at the time. At one time, I hate it and want to run home. Another time, I’m loving it and never want the experience to end. Only once I’m home and able to process everything do I realize how much I enjoy it. If you use that line as an opener for someone just because you have nothing else to say, remember that might not be the best way and surely there’s something else you can ask. How many newbies ask you how you are enjoying your conference? Most of us don’t want to be honest. We love it later, once we process it all, but during the moment we might be extremely uncomfortable and don’t want to admit it, and you could be losing out on a potentially great conversation with going with the same old question.

Remember we aren’t all extroverts, but we all want to gain something from this experience. That means going outside our comfort zones.